what do you think? is it real talent? or fake ?

Sumtimes

no further comment…

Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don’t know but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let’s have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow aren’t they?

George: Oh yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!

(silence)

Priest: That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can’t these guys play at night ???

—

**thanks Adelove

is a comedian who i adore, i like how straight forward and simple his words are,

not to mention that i like his style of critisicm.

I was reading some of his articles when i came through this one, i’ll paste it here so you can enjoy it:

—

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love, that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

—

George Carlin passed away last year, a great loss, leaving behind tremendous works that can be found all over the web.

Longest technical coined word:
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis : [a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungs].

let’s see if i can make up words that long …challenge…accepted!!

—-

* definitions are from wikipedia

(“importanted” though is an original mizord…which refers to an important imported word from outside the mizoctionary)

enjoy:

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt’) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow “remove” all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man gyu lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay’) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.

8.PHONESIA (fo nee’ zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup’kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay’ shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

“network games” is the phrase used here to refer to a group of dudes, spending the night killing each other – virtually – in a video game ( in my case it’s COD: Call Of Duty) played in the Multiplayer mode, usually on a LAN network not via Internet…which gives the advantage of your ability to stand up, walk a few steps, punch the other guy in the face to revenge him killing you in such a humiliating way! (the usual humiliating death-style is: you encounter the guy, start raining him with an endless stream of killer-explosive-bullets coming out of your up-to-date-all-pimped-up-gangsters-style-ultra-powerful-machine-gun… meanwhile, he walks towards you, laughing his guts out! and ends your miserable – virtual – life with one stroke of his knife!) believe me that feels more annoying and painful than the feeling of hitting your littlest tow in the edge of the bed on your way to the bathroom after you have just woke up :S

but i still love the game and each time i play it i discover a significant resemblance between the game and…real life!

i can say that i reached a conclusion that my life (probably yours too) is another more-real-version of COD! comparing:

the game style is usually about dividing the players into tow teams, your team and the other team (….. …..duh!) and the objective is to kill as much as you can from the other team and avoid getting killed, that’s in order to invade, capture and defend all the areas (marked with flags) which gives you control over the whole map! by that you (and your team) have won the battle, you go to another map, another battle, another set of flags and another set of lost souls begging for your wisdom of causing them evanescence!

through these battles, you gain experience, reputation and points that as you climb with your “level” you gain more weapons, abilities and “prestige”

i think it’s obvious and clear the match between that death-style, and life’s life-style…you wake up every morning, you have friends, enemies, and a few neutrals who if you get to know them better they’ll turn into either friends or enemies. you have a job to accomplish, a target and you would want to “kill” your enemies in order to reach your goals, hopefully with the help of your “friends”…most of the times you have more than one “goal” (flag) to gain control over the whole situation (map), by the end of the day (battle) you have either accomplished your goal, or lost or maybe accomplished some of your goals while missed the others…we can call it a tie

you wake up the next morning to another (battle) and so on, there is no Game Over!…no…wait…there is

during these days you gain knowledge, experience and prestige, which gets you more useful tools (weapons) to help you in your (battles)!

the resemblance is just unbelievable! we are living a game dudes!

usually after we finish playing for like 4 or 5 hours, we walk out and start imagining that we still are killing each other, ordering air strikes and sending dogs! well, guess what…we really are!! only in a little bit different way…